Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” I love that quote! Whenever I post it on Facebook, there is always a quick response of , “yes!” or when I state it at a speaking event, there are nodding heads throughout the audience. We love the idea of just being ourselves, but giving ourselves permission to do that can be way outside of our comfort zones.
At a recent speaking event, an attendee was connecting with me afterwards. She was really excited about what I had talked about kept saying, “You are so REAL, I felt like you were speaking directly to me. I don’t even know you but I want to be in your programs!” As she continued to speak, I realized that I had heard this same message before, over and over again, and I knew it was time to really analyze what was going on. What is it about ME that is so REAL? And why is it such a big deal to people?
So, of course, I had to enlist my husband’s help. While Tim is one of my biggest cheerleaders, he’s always extremely honest with me. I told him that I’d been hearing over and over again that what people appreciated most about my speaking presentations or my one-on-one interactions was that I was “so REAL“. “What”, I asked Tim, “do you think they are referring to?”
Tim paused for a moment and then he said, “I’ve known you a long time (almost 15 years) and you’ve grown a lot, but you’re still YOU. You’re the same person I met 15 years ago; you haven’t changed. When people interact with you in different situations, you show up the same way. Plus, you’re honest on stage or off-you’re not afraid to tell people what’s really going on and what you’ve gone through.”
I continued to ask around because I wanted to be able to give other people permission to truly be themselves, KNOWING that when you consistently show up as your most transparent self, great things start to happen in your business and in your life. Most of the time, it also has a tremendous impact on your sales. It’s not WHY you do it, but it leads to consistent sales growth in your business.
Let me be clear. My intention is not to be the poster child for “being real” because I think that’s a lot of pressure and I’m human. However, my intention IS to shed light on the importance of giving yourself permission to be as real and authentic as you possibly can so you can make a bigger difference in the world. So you can truly shine. When you aren’t being authentic or real, you will know it, because things start to go a little off track.
I’ve met a lot of people who I feel are truly genuine and have my best interest in mind. They are those trusted family members, friends, and colleagues I know I can call when I am in a jam or need a lift and they will be there for me 100%. There are also others who I thought had my best interest in mind, only to find out it was mostly about them. That’s okay, I honor wherever people are on their path, I’ve just become more discerning. What I think my clients and attendees have been pointing out to me is that they’ve had those experiences too, where they thought someone had their best interest in mind only to find out they did not. It can be a painful experience, but the contrast helps you identify the people who really DO have your back.
If you want to shift into being your most authentic self, then I want to encourage you to do that. You might feel a little vulnerable, or wonder what people might think of you, but that’s normal. However, the rewards of being yourself are endless.
In my experience of others, I believe there are 6 keys to “being yourself“. Again, by being “real” you will probably find yourself more easily attracting your ideal clients and also closing more sales. It’s not why you do it (you do it to become free!), but it can lead to working with the clients you’ve been dreaming of.
6 Keys to “Being You”:
- Transparency: Becoming honest with the world begins with being honest with yourself.
- Consistency: It’s all about showing up the same, wherever you are.
- Integrity: Having integrity to me means that you are honest and moral.
- Visibility: You cannot hide, you need to be visible so you can give your gifts to the world.
- Kindness: When you become whole and take care of yourself, you have enough energy to give kindness to others.
- Connection: When you look into someone’s eyes, take time to really see them.
So, what are you going to do? Will you give yourself permission to be the most “authentic you” possible? Or, will you continue to hide from the world?
I hope you choose to shine.
